英语幽默故事的奇妙之旅，英语幽默故事带翻译的书

在英语的广袤世界里，幽默故事就像一颗颗璀璨的星星，闪耀着独特的光芒，给我们带来无尽的欢乐和启迪，让我们一起踏上这场充满趣味的英语幽默故事之旅。

故事一：

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. As he's sitting there, he notices a very large jar on the counter filled with $10 bills. He asks the bartender, "What's with the jar?" The bartender replies, "Well, you put in $10 and if you can complete three tasks, you get all the money in the jar." Intrigued, the man asks, "What are the tasks?" The bartender says, "First, you have to drink a whole bottle of tequila in one minute. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to pull its tooth out. And third, there's an 80-year-old woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her life. You have to make her orgasm." The man thinks for a moment and says, "Well, I guess I could try." He downs the bottle of tequila in 59 seconds. Then he staggers out back. A few minutes later, he comes back in covered in blood and says, "Okay, where's the old woman with the sore tooth?"

翻译：一个男人走进一家酒吧，点了一杯啤酒，当他坐在那里时，他注意到柜台上有一个很大的罐子，里面装满了 10 美元的钞票，他问酒保：“那个罐子是怎么回事？”酒保回答说：“嗯，你放进去 10 美元，如果你能完成三项任务，你就可以得到罐子里所有的钱。”这个男人很好奇，问道：“任务是什么？”酒保说：“你必须在一分钟内喝下一整瓶龙舌兰酒，后面拴着一只患有牙痛的斗牛犬，你必须拔掉它的牙齿，第三，楼上有一个 80 岁的老太太，她一生中从未有过性高潮，你必须让她达到性高潮。”这个男人想了一会儿，说：“好吧，我想我可以试试。”他在 59 秒内喝下了那瓶龙舌兰酒，然后他蹒跚着走到后面，几分钟后，他浑身是血地回来，说：“好吧，那个牙痛的老太太在哪里？”

这个故事以其荒诞和出人意料的情节让我们忍俊不禁，同时也展示了英语幽默中那种夸张和离奇的特点。

故事二：

Why is the doctor so angry? Because he has no patience.

翻译：为什么医生那么生气？因为他没有耐心。

这虽然只是一个简单的英语笑话，但却以一种巧妙的文字游戏带来了轻松的笑料。

故事三：

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I'm hurting all over. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, my legs hurt." The doctor says, "You're not really hurting all over. You just think you are." The blonde says, "How can you say that? You don't know how I feel." The doctor says, "Well, if you were really hurting all over, you'd be dead."

翻译：一个金发女郎去看医生，说：“医生，我浑身都疼，我的头疼，我的肚子疼，我的腿疼。”医生说：“你并不是真的浑身都疼，你只是觉得你是。”金发女郎说：“你怎么能这么说？你不知道我的感受。”医生说：“嗯，如果

One day, a young man named Tom decided to go to the zoo to see the animals. He was so excited that he woke up early that morning and rushed to the zoo as soon as it opened.

As he walked through the gates, he saw a sign that said, "Danger! Do not feed the animals!" Tom ignored the sign and walked on. He thought to himself, "The animals will be so grateful for the food I give them!"

Tom found a big cage with a hungry-looking lion inside. He took out his lunch and started to feed the lion. The lion looked at Tom and then suddenly jumped at him! Tom screamed and ran away, but the lion chased after him and knocked him down.

Tom lay on the ground, panting and crying. The lion looked at him and then walked away. Tom got up and ran back to the gates, where he collapsed onto the ground, crying, "I'm so scared!"

One of the zoo workers saw what happened and rushed over to Tom. He said, "Tom, you're lucky that the lion didn't hurt you! You should have listened to the sign."

Tom nodded and said, "I know, I was so foolish. I'll never do that again."

The worker laughed and said, "Tom, you're a good lesson for everyone. Remember, don't feed the animals!"

Tom stood up and said, "I will. And I'll also remember not to run from lions anymore!"

The worker laughed again and said, "Tom, you're crazy!"

Tom smiled and said, "I know I am, but I'll always remember this day."

And so, Tom left the zoo with a lesson that he would never forget.

翻译：

一天，一个名叫汤姆的年轻人决定去动物园看动物，他感到非常兴奋，以至于那天早上起得很早，而且一动物园开门就急忙冲了进去。

他走进大门，看到一块牌子写着“危险！不要喂动物！”汤姆忽略了牌子，继续前行，他心里想着，“动物会对我给它们的食物感激不已！”

汤姆发现了一个大笼子，里面有一只饥饿的狮子，他拿出午餐，开始喂狮子，狮子看着汤姆，突然猛地跳了起来！汤姆尖叫着逃跑，但狮子追着他，把他撞倒在地。

汤姆躺在地上，气喘吁吁地哭泣着，狮子看着他，然后走开了，汤姆站起来，跑回到门口，在那里他倒在地上，哭着说，“我太害怕了！”

一位动物园工作人员看到了发生的事情，急忙跑到汤姆身边，他说，“汤姆，你真幸运！狮子没有伤害你！你应该听那块牌子的话。”

汤姆点点头说，“我知道，我太愚蠢了，我再也不会那样做了。”

工作人员笑着说，“汤姆，你给大家好好地上了一课，不要喂动物！”

汤姆站起来说，“我会的，而且我也会记住不要再从狮子面前逃跑！”

工作人员再次笑着说，“汤姆，你疯了！”

汤姆微笑着说，“我知道我疯了，但我永远会记住这一天。”

汤姆带着一个他永远不会忘记的教训离开了动物园。